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marriage book

2008-07-31T07:49:00.000-07:00

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What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ~H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. ~Peter De Vries

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner

Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. ~George Bernard Shaw

Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work. ~Author Unknown

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night. ~Paul Hornung

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

Divorce: The past tense of marriage. ~Author Unknown

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ~Judith Viorst

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~Katherine Hepburn

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire

There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ~Menander

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ~Benjamin Disraeli

The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966

In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. ~Anne Sophie Swetchine

In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced. ~Robert Sexton

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit. ~Pliny the Younger, Letters

If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. ~W. Somerset Maugham

If two stand shoulder to shoulder against the gods,
Happy together, the gods themselves are helpless
Against them while they stand so.
~Maxwell Anderson

After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6º of marriage! ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship. ~Iris Murdoch

English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. ~Author Unknown

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney

Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had. ~Francis Rodman

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. ~Beverley Nichols

Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. ~Author Unknown

Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage. ~Finnish Proverb

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. ~James H. Boren

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. ~Raymond Hull

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it. ~George MacDonald

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. ~Socrates

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. ~Mark Twain

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you. ~Jean Rostand, Le Mariage, 1927

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~Isadora Duncan

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. ~G.B. Shaw, Getting Married, 1908

A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~Gene Perret

Here's to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented! ~Heinrich Heine

The reason for much matrimony is patrimony. ~Ogden Nash

I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan. ~Claire Cloninger, "When the Glass Slipper Doesn't Fit and the Silver Spoon is in Someone Else's Mouth"

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals

Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. ~Author Unknown

Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves 'em still two fools. ~William Congreve

Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. ~O.C. Ogilvie

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

One should never know too precisely whom one has married. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same. ~Oscar Wilde

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. ~Author Unknown

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. ~Author Unknown

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it. ~Gene Perret

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. ~Mae West

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said. ~Author Unknown

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. ~Max Kauffman

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in shade. ~Leo Buscaglia

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without. ~James C. Dobson

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. ~Lord Byron

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane. ~Joseph Collins

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It's called love. ~Gene Perret

It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight. ~John Stevenson

Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. ~Author Unknown

Mother-in-law: a woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. ~Author Unknown

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. ~Author Unknown

Wedding rings: the world's smallest handcuffs. ~Author Unknown

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. ~Oscar Wilde

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. ~Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses, 1910

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. ~American Proverb

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. ~Samuel Pepys

Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is. ~Author Unknown

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence. ~Author Unknown

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space. ~Gene Perret

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first. ~Adela Rogers St. Johns

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ~Sacha Guitry, Elles et toi, 1948

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others. ~Helen Rowland, Violets and Vinegar

Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. ~Marlene Dietrich

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman. ~Joseph Joubert

Never strike your wife - even with a flower. ~Hindu Proverb

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. ~Peter Devries

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. ~Brendan Behan

So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three. ~Alexandre Dumas, fils

Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. ~Langdon Mitchell

Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect behind her. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

If your husband and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie? ~Author Unknown

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~George Levinger

Love-matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. ~Countess of Blessington

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. ~Sydney J. Harris

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger. ~George Eliot

The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him. ~Leo J. Burke

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self. ~Jerry McCant

Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. ~Jefferson Machamer

It's easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years? ~Author Unknown

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. ~Honore de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage

Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper. ~Scottish Proverb

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. ~Henny Youngman

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. ~Gabriel García Márquez

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. ~Tommy Manville

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~Socrates

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~Ruth Bell Graham

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

One man's folly is another man's wife. ~Helen Rowland

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't; men hope women won't change but they do. ~Bettina Arndt, Private Lives, 1986

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. ~English Proverb

Wedlock is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise lounge. ~Mrs Patrick Campbell

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ~Marilyn Monroe

A perfect marriage is one in which "I'm sorry" is said just often enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. ~Honore de Balzac

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. ~H.L. Mencken

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again.... We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. ~Enid Bagnold, Autobiography, 1969

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ~William Lyon Phelps

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married. ~Kin Hubbard

Two mothers-in-law. ~Lord John Russell, on being asked what he would consider a proper punishment for bigamy

Though women are angels, yet wedlock's the devil. ~Byron, Hours of Idleness

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. ~Joey Adams

A question asked in a Surrey school exam went: "Why do cocks crow early every morning?" A twelve-year-old replied: "My dad says they have to make the most of it while the hens are asleep." ~Quoted in the Peterborough Daily Telegraph, 1983

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. ~H.L. Mencken

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert. ~Austin O'Malley

One shouldn't be too inquisitive in life
Either about God's secrets or one's wife.
~Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. ~Jackie Gleason

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. ~Bill Cosby, Love and Marriage

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it. ~Lyndon B. Johnson

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. ~Ian Hay

Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. ~Jerry Hall

The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life. ~Richard Steele, The Spectator

Adultery is the application of democracy to love. ~Henry Louis Mencken, "Sententiae," A Book of Burlesques, 1920

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. ~Andre Maurois

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. ~Elbert Hubbard

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do. ~Joan Didion

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce. ~Larry Gelbart, M*A*S*H, "Bulletin Board," original airdate 14 January 1975, spoken by the character Frank Burns

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. ~Helen Rowland

In the long run wives are to be paid in a peculiar coin - consideration for their feelings. As it usually turns out this is an enormous, unthinkable inflation few men will remit, or if they will, only with a sense of being overcharged. ~Elizabeth Hardwick, Seduction and Betrayal, 1974

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. ~Helen Rowland

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. ~Jean Kerr, Mary, Mary, 1960

Marriage changes passion - suddenly you're in bed with a relative. ~Author Unknown

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. ~Grace Hansen

The view that a peptic ulcer may be the hole in a man's stomach through which he crawls to escape from his wife has fairly wide acceptance. ~John Allan Dalrymple Anderson

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. ~Charles Caleb Colton

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out. ~Lee Grant

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~Harlan Miller

The man who never in his life
Has washed the dishes with his wife
Or polished up the silver plate -
He still is largely celibate.
~Christopher Morley, Washing the Dishes

A love that lasts for twenty years may be better than love, but it isn't love. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

God created sex. Priests created marriage. ~Voltaire

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation. ~E.W. Howe

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ~Henny Youngman

Marriage is a mistake every man should make. ~George Jessel

I guess walking slow getting married is because it gives you time to maybe change your mind. ~Virginia Cary Hudson, O Ye Jigs & Juleps, 1962 (Thanks, Charlene)

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. ~Helen Rowland

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. ~Author Unknown

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. ~Ogden Nash

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

The concern that some women show at the absence of their husbands, does not arise from their not seeing them and being with them, but from their apprehension that their husbands are enjoying pleasures in which they do not participate, and which, from their being at a distance, they have not the power of interrupting. ~Michel de Montaigne

But married once, a man is stak'd or pown'd, and cannot graze beyond his own hedge. ~Philip Massinger, Fatal Dowry, 1632

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ~François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator. ~Author Unknown

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. ~Marie Corelli

Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband. ~Kin Hubbard

After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her - and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. ~Helen Rowland

A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers. ~African Proverb

Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan. ~Quentin Crisp, "The Art of Celibacy"

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's nurses. ~Francis Bacon, "Of Marriage and Single Life," Essays or Counsels, Civil and Moral, 1625

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." ~Herbert Spencer

By the time you're his
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
~Dorothy Parker

A woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a half-inch. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor. ~Paul-Jean Toulet

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive. ~Juvenal, Satires

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. ~Nick Faldo

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite! ~Walter Winchell

Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale. ~Robert Graves

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself. ~H.L. Mencken

My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it. ~Lee Trevino

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
~Ogden Nash

"What's for dinner?" is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages. ~Barry Goldwater

People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is. ~James L. Framo, "Explorations in Marital & Family Therapy"

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. ~H.L. Mencken

I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.
~Author Unknown

No man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse. ~Author Unknown

Think not because you are now wed
That all your courtship's at an end.
~Antonio Hurtado de Mendoza

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse. ~Arthur Baer

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. ~Lewis Grizzard

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. ~Martin Luther

Alimony - The ransom that the happy pay to the devil. ~H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," A Book of Burlesques, 1920

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. ~Author Unknown

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. ~Noel Coward, 1956

Thus Dante's motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage: "Ye who enter here leave all hope behind." ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love

Wasn't marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded. Wasn't it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt. ~Edna Ferber, Show Boat, 1926

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ~Author Unknown

Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. ~Virginie des Rieux, Epigrams

Wedlock is a padlock. ~John Ray, English Proverbs

The marriage of convenience has this to recommend it: we are better judges of convenience than we are of love. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. ~Samuel Lichtenberg

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. ~H.V. Prochnow

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. ~John Mortimer, The Trials of Rumpole

One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. ~M.M. Musselman

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. ~Irwin Corey

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. ~Katharine Houghton Hepburn

The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. ~Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals

Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little State- and church-begotten weed, marriage? ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love

What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love. ~William Penn

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. ~Billy Connolly

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night. ~St. Jerome, Attack on Jovinian

[M]y mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot. ~Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City, 1978

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous. ~H.L. Mencken

A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, too the time is coming when there will no longer be one standard of morality for poetry and another for life. To anyone tender of conscience, the ties formed by a free connection are stronger than the legal ones. ~Ellen Key, quoted by Sprading in Liberty and the Great Libertarians

Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing. ~Duane Dewel

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry. ~Rita Rudner

Then marriage may be said to be past in all quietnesse, when the wife is blind, and the husband deafe. ~Thomas Heywood, "Dialogues"

Come, let's be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with. ~Charles Dickens

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. ~Michel de Montaigne, Essays

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot. ~Minnie Pearl

Love is grand; divorce a hundred grand. ~Author Unknown

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. ~Balzac, Physiologie du mariage, 1829

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors. ~Benjamin Franklin

And when will there be an end of marrying? I suppose, when there is an end of living! ~Tertullian

The surest way to be alone is to get married. ~Gloria Steinem

[W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. ~Robert Frost

I never even believed in divorce until after I got married. ~Diane Ford

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. ~Gloria Steinem

Courtship to marriage is as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. ~William Congreve, The Old Bachelor, 1693

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. ~Alan King

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake. ~Alexander Pope, The Wife of Bath, 1713

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. ~Evelyn Hendrickson

When the one man loves the one woman and the one woman loves the one man, the very angels desert heaven and come and sit in that house and sing for joy. ~The Brahma Sutras

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. ~Author Unknown

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry. ~Anton Chekov

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle. ~Heinrich Heine

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. ~Cher

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. ~Kin Hubbard

Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in? ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Representative Men, 1850

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. ~Prince Philip

You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding. ~Jim, age 10

It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble. ~Kenny, age 7, when asked if it's better to be single or married

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder. ~Thornton Wilder

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. ~H.L. Mencken

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance. ~Michel de Montaigne

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he'd be dead within the year. ~Bette Davis

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. ~Madeleine de Scudery

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. ~Josh Billings

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. ~Groucho Marx

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? ~Barbra Streisand

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married. ~Benjamin Disraeli

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar, a custom which is still continued. ~Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl, 1909

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. ~Mae West

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. ~A.P. Herbert

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake. ~Elbert Hubbard

sara evans

2008-07-31T07:11:00.000-07:00

Sara on the best advice she received on marriage, 10/2005: "Keep your romance alive with your spouse. Keep yourself looking your best for your spouse. Acting your best. Behaving your best ... My advice would be just to be sweet to one another, and don't fight in front of your kids. The best gift that you can give your children is to have a great marriage."
Source: CMT.com
Sara about sex in marriage, 10/2005: "It makes me so mad when women talk about hating having sex with their husbands. I think it's ridiculous. There are so many girls that get together and are like, "Oh, I'm just so tired, and I don't want to do it." He is practically begging the wife to have sex, and that is so common in marriage, especially after you have been married for more than five years. I just think, "Women, you have a responsibility to your men." I guarantee you, it will make your relationship great. Granted, hopefully you are married to a decent man. If you are married to a pig, now that's different."
Source: CMT.com
Sara about their early marriage: "There were times when he and I were so poor, when we were first married, that we actually went and rented a television set to watch the elections.”
Source: CMT.com
Sara on falling in love with Craig: "I know it sounds cheesy, but I fell in love with him immediately," Evans says, some 10 years after the fact. "I threw all my plans out the window."
Source: Oregonian
Sara about writing songs, August 2003: "I was on tour while Craig was campaigning -- and I was so desperately missing him! Sometimes we would go two or three weeks without seeing each other. I just felt miserable without him. That's definitely where the song 'Tonight' came from. It was me writing and choosing these love songs to record. They're sort of sad, but very passionate because I was sad being so far away from Craig."
Source: KeepMedia
Sara about meeting Craig in Nashville: "He was a room service waiter trying to do the same thing. We started dating, fell in love, and he asked me to go to Oregon with him and sing in his band."
Source: "Sara Evans." Contemporary Musicians, Volume 27. Gale Group, 2000.
Sara about becoming parents: "Becoming parents for me and Craig made us so much more in love. We're really tight, the five of us. Craig and the kids always put a smile on my face, and I think anyone who's smiling and happy is beautiful."
Source: People Weekly, May 9, 2005 p169.

Repair Corner

2008-07-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

REPAIR TOOL

Tool #1—apologize

A simple sincere and heartfelt apology can sometimes do wonders for a relationship, especially if your partner sees you as a person who never admits they are wrong or at fault.
Say things like: I’m sorry; I apologize; what I did was really stupid; I don’t know what got into me.

REPAIR Tool #2—confide feelings.
Be honest and share the feelings that are underneath the anger such as fear, embarrassment, or insecurity. Your partner may respond to you quite differently if they see those other emotions, instead of just the anger. Confiding what is in your heart and in your mind can make a huge difference in promoting understanding, closeness, and intimacy.
Say things like: I was really afraid for our daughter when I got so angry; I didn’t want to hurt you; I just lost my cool.

REPAIR TOOL #3—acknowledge partner’s point of view.
This doesn’t mean you have to agree with it; just acknowledging it can decrease tension and conflict because it shows your partner you are at least listening to them. It also demonstrates empathy—the ability to see things from their vantage point instead of only yours.
Say things like: I can see what you mean; I never looked at it that way.

REPAIR TOOL #4—accept some of the responsibility for the conflict.
Very few conflicts are 100% the fault of either partner. Instead, most conflicts are like a dance with both of you making moves to contribute to the problem. Inability to accept any responsibility is a sign of defensiveness rather than the openness required for good communication.
Say things like: I shouldn't’ have done what I did; I guess we both blew it; I can understand why you reacted to me that way.

REPAIR TOOL #5—find common ground.
Focus on the issue at hand and what you have in common rather than your differences. For instance, you might both agree that raising healthy children is a common goal even though you differ in parenting styles.
Say things like: We seem to both have the same goal here; we don’t agree on methods but we both want the same outcome.

REPAIR TOOL #6—commit to improve behavior. “I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it if you continually repeat the offensive behavior. Backup words with action. Show concrete evidence that you will try to change.
Say things like: I promise to get up a half hour earlier from now on; I’ll call if I’m going to be late; I’ll only have two drinks at the party and then stop.

marriage QUOTES

2008-07-28T10:38:00.000-07:00

Alfred Adler:

We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a "getaway." We cannot love and be limited.

Ambrose Bierce:
Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.

Amy Bloom:
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.

Ann Landers:
All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest--never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.
Ann Landers Says Truth Is Stranger..., 1968

Anna Garlin Spencer:
The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success.

Anne Bradstreet:
If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

Betty Friedan:
If divorce has increased by one thousand percent, don't blame the women's movement. Blame the obsolete sex roles on which our marriages were based.
speech, New York City, January 20, 1974

Bill Cosby:
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.

Danny DeVito:
There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?
The War of the Roses

Dick Gregory:
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.

Francis Bacon:
He that hath a wife and children hath given hostages to fortune.

Friedrich Nietzsche:
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

Gay Hendricks:
One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple do not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough.

Georg C. Lichtenberg:
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

Gloria Steinem:
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

Groucho Marx:
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

The Groucho Phile, 1976
-->Hannah Arendt:
The right to marry whoever one wishes is an elementary human right compared to which "the right to attend an integrated school, the right to sit where one pleases on a bus, the right to go into any hotel or recreation area or place of amusement, regardless of one's skin or color or race" are minor indeed. Even political rights, like the right to vote, and nearly all other rights enumerated in the Constitution, are secondary to the inalienable human rights to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence; and to this category the right to home and marriage unquestionably belongs. [Dissent, Winter 1959]

Harriet Martineau:
Any one must see at a glance that if men and women marry those whom they do not love, they must love those whom they do not marry.

Helen Rowland:
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Homer:
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-->John Berger:
All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different.

Joseph Barth:
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

Josh McDowell:
What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down -- that person has committed himself to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him off.

Joyce Brothers:
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.

Joyce Brothers:
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.

Katharine Hepburn:
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

Louis K. Anspacher:
Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal.

Lyndon B. Johnson:
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the the other, to let her have it.

Mark Twain:
After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Adam, in Adam's Diary

Mark Twain:
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

Mignon McLaughlin:
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Mohandas K. Gandhi:
I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage.

Nanette Newman:
A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust.

Ogden Nash:
To keep your marriage brimming,With love in the loving cup,Whenever you're wrong admit it;Whenever you're right shut up.

Ogden Nash:
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.

Oscar Wilde:
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Pearl S. Buck:
A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.

Rainer Maria Rilke:
A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?

Rita Rudner:
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-->Robert C. Dodds:
The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.

Samuel Johnson:
Marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Simone Signoret:
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!

Socrates:
My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Tom Mullen:
Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.

W. H. Auden:
Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting than any romance, however passionate.

Will Rogers:
Elections are a good deal like marriages. There's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with public officials.

Will Stanton:
Getting a dog is like getting married. It teaches you to be less self-centered, to accept sudden, surprising outbursts of affection, and not to be upset by a few scratches on your car.

Wedding Verses

2008-07-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Love is patient, Love is kind,It does not envy, it does not boast,It is not proud, it is not rude,It is not self-seeking,It is not easily angered,It keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.Love always protects, always trusts,always hopes, always perseveres.Love bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.Lover never fails (Corinthians 13:4-8)
*
It's your Wedding Day So perfect and fine, With all your friends round you To have a good time. And we wish you much happiness Starting your lives as one, Always give love to each other With lots of laughter and fun
*
Ever wonder why God gives us two?A right hand to show the left what to do.One ear to listen and one to hearthe problems of others,their laughter and fears.One eye to watch and one to beholdthe beautiful treasuresthat life has to hold.One foot to travel and one to stand tall.Two feet to land on if we should fall.One man to stand by a woman's side;One woman to cherish being his bride.The love between partnerscomes shining throughand that is the reasonGod has made two.May God Bless YouOn Your Wedding Day
*
Today you are joined in marriage,remember to always…Be understanding of your partner’s needs.Hold each other in the highest regard.Have a sense of humour as you meet life’s challenges.Honour one another when you are together or apart.Respect each other’s differences.Enjoy the good times, and endure the storms.Make your dreams come true, together…Most of all, love one another…
*
May you always feel as close as you do this day.May your lives be graced with good health.May you always find happiness in your home,and may it be a refuge from the storms of life.May your love grow ever stronger as you shareyour lives together, and may your future be evenmore wonderful than you dreamed possible
*
Marriage begins with a wedding,where two people promise “to have and to hold, to loveand to cherish” come what may...The comfort in a marriage comes from caringfor one another, and showing it each day…The happiness in marriage comes from knowing that the love youshare will grow ever stronger as you go through life together.The blessings of marriage are the fulfilment of yourcherished hopes and dreams as your lives unfold,and the realization of the meaning ofthat beautiful promise “To have and to hold…”
*
Take a couple of whole months, clean them thoroughly of all Bitterness, Rumours, Hate and Jealousy; in other words, make them as fresh and as clean as possible.Now cut each month into 28, 30 or 31 different parts...But don't make up the whole batch at once.. Instead prepare it One Day at a Time.Mix well each day:One part of Faith,One of Patience,One of Courage,One of Work,Add one part each of:Hope,Faithfulness,GenerosityKindness;
Blend with:One part Prayer,One part MeditationGood Deeds.
Season the whole with:a dash of Good Spirit,a sprinkle of Fun,a pinch of Playa cupful of Good Humour.
Pour all of this into a Vessel Of Love,Cook thoroughly over Radiant JoyGarnish with SmilesServe with Quietness, Unselfishness and Cheerfulness
And you are bound to have a Happy Life.
*
Wedding Cake Recipe:1/2 lb good looks 1lb sweet temper1lb butter of youth1lb blindness of faults1lb of wit1lb good humour2lb of sweet argument1 pint of rippling laughter1 wine glass of common sensea dash of modestyPut the love good looks and a sweet temper into a well furnished house.Beat the butter of youth into a cream,and mix well together with the blindness of faults.Stir the wit and good humour into the sweet argumentthen add the rippling laughter and common sense.Work the whole thing together until everything is well mixed,and bake gently forever.
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Good luck! Congratulations!Best wishes! Cheers! Well done!The futures full of promise andIts only just begunYou're starting on a journeyA new, exciting lifeTogether, as a partnershipAs husband and as a wifeAdventures, thrills and choicesAre waiting just for youThe road will have some turningsAnd perhaps a bump or twoBut you’ll be strong togetherYou’ll come through every testYour love will deepen week by weekBe Happy All the best
*
Today dear Son, as you walk down the aisleYou'll see all the faces wearing a smile.But as we remember those young tender yearsOur smiles will conceal a few hidden tears.They're not tears of sorrow, but tears full of joyAs we're both thinking back to our dear little boyAnd now you have grown up and made us so proudAs you smile for the camera and the rest of the crowdRemember dear (name) as you take your new wifeYou're still very much a part of our life!We're gaining a daughter. not losing a son,You're new lives as husband and wife have begunSo be blissfully happy and enjoy your 'Big Day'Have a wonderful marriage with a rose strewn way!
*
For a daughter....Today dear daughter, as you walk down the aisleYou'll see all the faces wearing a smile.But as we remember those young tender yearsOur smiles will conceal a few hidden tears.It isn't through sadness , our emotions just whirlAs we're both thinking back to our dear little girlAnd now you have grown and made us so proudAs you smile for the camera and the rest of the crowdRemember dear (name) as you become a new wifeYou're still very much a part of our life!We're not losing a daughter, we are gaining a son,You're new lives as husband and wife have begunSo be blissfully happy and enjoy your 'Big Day'Have a wonderful marriage with a rose strewn way!
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With warmest wishesfor the best in lifeas you both look forwardto a shared futureof love, friendship, and the wonderful closeness that is marriage.Congratulations
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For a Special Couple on Your Wedding DayLove grows deeper, stronger,and more beautifulwhen it is planted by God...Kept in His Will...Nourished by His Wordand warmed by the sunshineof His ever-abiding presence.May you always walk togetherin the happy ways of loveTrusting in the grace of GodTo lead you from above.Congratulations
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Wishing You God's Blessingon Your Wedding Day......and may He always bethe heart of your marriage,the light of your home,and the ever-present partnerin your life together.Congratulations
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From this day forward,as you share life's joys and trials,may you always comfort one anotherwith a smile...Always be together throughboth laughter and the tears...Depending on each other...Loving happily ever after.Wishing you an "always" kind of love.Best Wishes on Your Wedding Day
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Wishing you a happy marriageand hoping that yourlife together will be richin joy and love.
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May this day you share be filled with love and laughterMay all the days aheadbe happy ever after!